cancer

first off, fuck it.
it being cancer.
-it has single handedly helped me to doubt my faith, cause if god is so omnipotent then why the fuck won't he just heal my mom, or at least ease her pain?
people have come and prayed over her and all of that stuff but nothing seems to work.
thanks god.
-it has brought my family closer, but for the wrong reasons. possibility of imminent death shouldn't be what brings family closer, life is what should bring families together.
-it has inspired people to send sympathy cards and money and what have you, but to them (and to me prior to this) it's always just "oh wow, that's terrible, but that'll never happen to me or my family." but if and when it does happen to yours, i'll be able to legitimately sympathize with you.
-it has struck fear into my entire household. fear of death, fear of pain, fear of loneliness, etc.

-it has put a deadline on my mother's life.

fuck you, cancer


Love,
Matthew D. Sturgis